Journal for him
July 25th 2008 22:40
A good friend of mine gave me a nice journal she hand made with her dad. It's very beautiful, you would think it's one of those manufactured and sold in bookstores.
She gave me that about 3 weeks ago and I didn't really know what to do with it. It's been a long time since I last had a journal and it's been a much longer time since I've written on a journal and actually finished a year or a notebook until I stopped.
The other day while I was just lying in bed, observing my little one and his dad, I saw the journal. Then I had the urge to write on it, since it's divided into 4 sections, I decided to write or create a journal for my husband and my son.
It's more of random letters, things I would love to tell my husband and my son, but right now I couldn't.
If you must know, my husband and I are kind of on a rocky marriage at the moment so the things I want to tell him aren't always welcome. This journal has become very useful in letting out what I feel without having a heated argument again on the smallest of things.
Then I also started a journal for my son. Things I want him to know when he grows up, probably when he turns either 16... or 18... or maybe even when he gets married. Some of the things I've written there were about things I'm going through with his dad which can be helpful to him when he's married.
I feel wonderful being able to write this. For if (God Forbid), anything at all happens to me, there's something there he can read when he grows older for him to know how much I love him.
I sometimes wish my parents would have something like this for me. My parents especially are not very vocal about anything at all to their children. I grew up fearing them and fearing talking to them about anything at all. Sometimes even up to now. I'm having hesitations about talking to them about my marriage now for fear of being judged or hearing the "i told you so" from them.
I know I shouldn't be thinking this way, but you know how historically this has always been the case, why bother?
Nevertheless, I'm doing this journal and hopefully get to put in things I would be wanting to tell my son when he grows up, in case I forget. I wouldn't want the situation to happen to him before I tell him my story...
I initially did this by creating an email address for him and literally emailing him things I had in mind. Later on, I forgot again and the email account was closed
At least writing it down is more personal and has that vintage and dramatic feel when he gets to read it in 15 years or so. hahaha PLUS this time I won't worry about closed email accounts
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