Your son's liking "girly" stuff... should you worry??
April 9th 2008 10:58
You watch a disney movie complete with all the musicals, singing and dancing by the princess Your 3 year old son watches intently and actually enjoys one of the Disney classics.
Later on after the movie's finished and they lived happily ever after, you hear your son singing the songs. Even further on, you see him dancing and re-enacting parts of the movie and since it's a classic Disney, the scenes will mostly be about the princess. Would you start thinking if he's gay?
My 3 year old watched the movie Enchanted with me and hubby and this movie had a lot of Princess in it, and very little Prince. He enjoyed the movie tremendously and loved the songs in it. He's always enjoyed singing so obviously he started singing it. Later on after a few more replays of the movie, he started knowing the dances of Giselle (the Princess) through some key scenes in the movie.
My husband and I thing it's actually cute and affirmed our theory that he's more into the arts than anything more physical. One of my sister however was a bit confused asking us "Isn't that a girlie movie?"
Girlie movie? It's a disney fairy tale. I wouldn't classify it as girlie really.
Furthermore I'm not sure I should worry if my son's watching a girlie movie or not. He has freedom to choose any color he wants - I don't confine him to the "manly" colors of blue or black or whatever. I don't stop him if he wants to look at dolls or some toy pots and pans.
I know my parents or their generation of parents were so concerned of making sure their boys grew up manly and their girls grew up lady like. I don't.
Husband and I are both fans of the arts -- theater, music, dancing, photography, movies, etc. You name it, we always try and experience and appreciate the arts. We'd be proud if he grew up to be someone big in the arts too.
Although husband's also one sports buff he loves soccer, taught swimming and taekwondo to kids with his bestfriends and he biked to places from sunrise to sunset, he was very adventurous - that's not something our son got from him.
We learned from our parents who tried to restrain gender so much that doing so only gives them wrong ideas of what pink is, or what toy trucks are. There's definitely nothing wrong if my son likes pretending to cook in the kitchen, or if my daughter would want to play with trucks and dig into the soil more than my son would.
My son's very expressive and I love it. I firmly it's because we didn't tell me it's not wrong to be too soft. He LOVES hugging, kissing and saying "I Love You's" and "I Miss You's". I love it. I don't think it's anything to worry about. If he turns or grows up to be gay -- then whatever makes him happy. I have really good relationships with gay friends and have absolutely no problem with them.
And to be honest -- why worry about this when your son's this young?? I know some parents do and some parents try their best to shelter their kids and make sure they grow up "right" which is subject to interpretation if you ask me. In fact, why worry about this at all!?
Relax. Your kids will turn out the way they should and you can always buy the best "sheltering" you can but how your kids grow up will never be known until they do. In my honest opinon, let them be. Let them grow and trip and hurt their knees, let them play in the rain, in mud or puddles, let soild and dirt get into their nails -- you can always bathe them. Do not go the extremes trying to make them the "perfect" person because most of the time they try and get out of the "box" you made for them and turn out worse than you would've imagined.
Relax moms and dads. they'll grow up fine. If you grew up fine, you need not worry
Later on after the movie's finished and they lived happily ever after, you hear your son singing the songs. Even further on, you see him dancing and re-enacting parts of the movie and since it's a classic Disney, the scenes will mostly be about the princess. Would you start thinking if he's gay?
My 3 year old watched the movie Enchanted with me and hubby and this movie had a lot of Princess in it, and very little Prince. He enjoyed the movie tremendously and loved the songs in it. He's always enjoyed singing so obviously he started singing it. Later on after a few more replays of the movie, he started knowing the dances of Giselle (the Princess) through some key scenes in the movie.
My husband and I thing it's actually cute and affirmed our theory that he's more into the arts than anything more physical. One of my sister however was a bit confused asking us "Isn't that a girlie movie?"
Girlie movie? It's a disney fairy tale. I wouldn't classify it as girlie really.
Furthermore I'm not sure I should worry if my son's watching a girlie movie or not. He has freedom to choose any color he wants - I don't confine him to the "manly" colors of blue or black or whatever. I don't stop him if he wants to look at dolls or some toy pots and pans.
I know my parents or their generation of parents were so concerned of making sure their boys grew up manly and their girls grew up lady like. I don't.
Husband and I are both fans of the arts -- theater, music, dancing, photography, movies, etc. You name it, we always try and experience and appreciate the arts. We'd be proud if he grew up to be someone big in the arts too.
Although husband's also one sports buff he loves soccer, taught swimming and taekwondo to kids with his bestfriends and he biked to places from sunrise to sunset, he was very adventurous - that's not something our son got from him.
We learned from our parents who tried to restrain gender so much that doing so only gives them wrong ideas of what pink is, or what toy trucks are. There's definitely nothing wrong if my son likes pretending to cook in the kitchen, or if my daughter would want to play with trucks and dig into the soil more than my son would.
My son's very expressive and I love it. I firmly it's because we didn't tell me it's not wrong to be too soft. He LOVES hugging, kissing and saying "I Love You's" and "I Miss You's". I love it. I don't think it's anything to worry about. If he turns or grows up to be gay -- then whatever makes him happy. I have really good relationships with gay friends and have absolutely no problem with them.
And to be honest -- why worry about this when your son's this young?? I know some parents do and some parents try their best to shelter their kids and make sure they grow up "right" which is subject to interpretation if you ask me. In fact, why worry about this at all!?
Relax. Your kids will turn out the way they should and you can always buy the best "sheltering" you can but how your kids grow up will never be known until they do. In my honest opinon, let them be. Let them grow and trip and hurt their knees, let them play in the rain, in mud or puddles, let soild and dirt get into their nails -- you can always bathe them. Do not go the extremes trying to make them the "perfect" person because most of the time they try and get out of the "box" you made for them and turn out worse than you would've imagined.
Relax moms and dads. they'll grow up fine. If you grew up fine, you need not worry
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Comment by Sara Dobson
Parents Precinct
My Turn
Comment by Hazel Castillo
Working Title
Cirrus Cloud
Parent Adventures
Nice to hear your thoughts Sara.